Good Advice For Men Who Don't Like Mace

This one post deserves to be saved for future reference, a guy's guide to approaching women in a non-threatening way.

It's such great advice, it's a sure bet that women will want to bookmark it too, to send men who fail to get a clue. Of course, men who fail to get a clue also fail at reading and understanding. We won't invent a way to solve that problem for many generations, yet. Come to think of it, that's the whole problem with the clueless people in general, never mind online dating.

Anyway, as many of you guys out there can attest, it's an uncomfortable situation to happen to be the kind of guy who looks scary. Isn't it? We've observed the kind of man who can walk up to an intersection and you hear all the drivers locking their car doors.

What Your Date's Social Web Use Says About Them

The 21st century has given us some new metrics to measure prospective partners in online dating. For instance, social websites and services. Once you realize that each of these services has its own unique culture, it becomes immediately apparent that different niches would attract different people over time. To wit:

• Yahoo! Groups - Very old school. Expect someone either senior-citizen age, or tragically out of touch with the modern web.


• Digg or Reddit - The hive of drones. This is a mixed bag, as these are the two most-frequented social sites, but expect someone age 18-25, very well-informed about the web, very insulated against the rest of the world.


• Facebook - Again, everybody and their dog (literally) is on Facebook now, so expect people of all ages and persuasions. But also count on somebody with "nothing to hide", who is very connected to their family and/or co-workers.


• Twitter - Chatterbox! At least you know they're a great communicator who's always available. Look out for egos.


• MySpace - Look for teenagers and younger. Anybody on MySpace over the age of 21 might have serious developmental issues, unless they're entertainers (singers, artists, etc.) keeping touch with their fans.


• 4chan - Either you're dealing with lowlifes, or the rare intellectual who finds the brainless silliness amusing. Don't bet on the latter.


• Adult FriendFinder - Sexually liberated. However, also look out for people cruising for quick casual sex.

MeetingMillionaires.com - Why Do Women date Sugardaddies?

MeetingMillionaires.com - Young women often seek out older men, and vice versa. This bears out in statistics of married couples gathered from all over the world; the husband is consistently older than the wife, rather than the other way around. And while there's exceptions to the rule - starlets in their golden years dating "boy toys", for instance - it's worth looking into for the insight it gives towards helping more people get what they want.

There's an evolutionary advantage to this. Women produce a set number of fertile eggs in their lifetime, whereas men continue to produce sperm their whole lives. So evolution would favor choosing a younger, more fertile female. At the same time, an older male has had more time to establish himself; even in ancient times, a male who was more mature would have staked out some territory for himself, and had the chance to prove himself to be a more capable provider.

Some of that carries over to modern times. A young man just starting out still has college to go through, a career to forge, and may not have made up his mind where he wants to go in life yet. A more mature man is established - he has his own home, his own car, everything's paid for, and the chances are good that he's not going to just suddenly fly off to Timbuktu never to be heard from again.

Meeting Millionaires
So of course, the richer men present a more attractive option. In seeking to date a millionaire, women can assure themselves that they're going to find someone more stable. In these trying economic times with global upheaval in the market on every front, financial stability is more important than ever.

The side benefits fit more into the relationship side of things. Not only is a millionaire sugardaddy more able to keep a woman in comfort and security, but chances are any mature male has outgrown some of the rough edges that a young male has. Mature men take their time with a woman. They're not in such a hurry, having seen what it's all about several times before. They have more patience, more understanding, and more nurturing instinct. Mature men better know how to treat a woman, and know the importance of flirting, foreplay, and having fun together. They'll stay in bed and cuddle afterwards, instead of jumping up to seek out their next adventure.

Ah, but what's in it for the millionaire men?
Well, there's little arguing against the fact that younger women are more physically attractive. But it's also more invigorating to have a younger lover - they're more adventurous, spontaneous, and fun to be around. Older men very much look upon younger women as playmates, somebody to bring out their fun side. Given the pressures of maintaining a base of power and wealth, it's no surprise that when it's time for leisure, they want somebody who's ready for action and not somebody who will be too tired and complaining of a backache.

Of course, human behavior always poses more interesting questions than we can answer in one lifetime. But hopefully this explains the art of meetingmillionaires and some of the motivations for either side.

Jodie Brittain
For meetingmillionaires

What Your Partner's Film Tastes Says About Them

Nearly every online dating website has a section of the profile where singles looking for love can say what kind of films they like. Well, that's not just for comparison! Certain genres of films attract certain personalities, and you can tell a thing or two about them from these preferences.

Comedies (Teen)
example: American Pie, Porkys
Teen comedies usually revolve around sex, love, and the frustrations of functioning in the world. Fans of this kind of film feel awkward in life and identify with the protagonist as they fumble through a series of embarrassing mishaps. They have a very broad sense of humor and are very social.

Comedies (Alternative)
example: Monty Python, Clerks
These are the thoughtful, intelligent types. Monty Python and Kevin Smith appeal to the geeks and nerds, and generally a highly educated crowd. Look for analytical and scientific types to flock to these.

Science Fiction
example: Star Trek, A Scanner Darkly
Note that we do not include Star Wars, because that's an action/adventure series. True science fiction draws fans with a strong imagination who like to think. Think of quiet, contemplative people who are very well-read.

Superhero Series
example: Dark Knight, Transformers
Superheros and their uber-villians represent very simple morality plays. Fans of these films like their problems simplified so they can come up with a solid solution. They admire strength and courage, and are given to having a strong character.

Action
example: National Treasure, Star Wars
Similar to superhero films, action films are also a genre that appeal to people who enjoy the simple pleasures in life. But they're more into the action for action's sake. Look for thrill-seekers here, and people who are spontaneous and energetic.

Chick Flicks
example: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Sex in the City
In spite of the name, both men and women who watch these kinds of films are very intelligent about emotions. To them, romance is one of the most important things in life. Look for people here who are empathic, sentimental, and tend towards kindness.

Scary Films and Thrillers
example: Saw, Hellboy
Contrary to what you might expect, the biggest fans of horror films are the kind of people who aren't scared easily. So look for people who are very imaginative here, and also very empathic! Also look for emotionally intense people with a good grasp of issues and who are not easily ruffled.

High Fantasy
example: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter
Amongst fans of these films, you will find the starry-eyed dreamers for whole life is a wondrous spectacle. Look for people who may be older 'but refuse to grow up' - in a good way! They're spontaneous and creative, and love to be surprised.

Crime/Spy Drama
example: Ocean's Thirteen, The Borne Ultimatum
These films are more about what the characters are thinking than anything else, as the various characters pit their wits against each other. The fun in these films comes from trying to unravel the clues and figure out the puzzle. This crowd loves a mental challenge. Look for high IQs, sedate lifestyles, and a dramatic flair.

3D Animation
example: Shrek, Kung Fu Panda
The high-tech enthusiast is a typical fan of 3D animation. They might even have a career in computer graphics themselves. At the least, you'll find a young, smart, and hip crowd who is likely to have a Blackberry or an iPhone holstered. Also, parents love these kinds of films because their children do.

Anime
example: Fullmetal Alchemist, Deathnote
Now, anime fans are a very unique subset. Anime and manga (printed comics) run together and frequently hover around science fiction, action, and fantasy themes. So blend together the typical fans of those genres, but add in a double dash of creativity and a childish sense of wonder.

Jodie Brittain

ModelMeet.com - Get what you really want

Instead of meeting women via the regular dating sites, why not try meeting models only, and find what you are really looking for. If you have been unsuccessful with other online dating sites, then you may have been targeting the wrong groups of women.

When you meet models you will find that they are high calibre people who give you a whole new perspective on life. They can treat to you to aspects of their life that no one else can offer. You also get to meet very attractive women who are also very intelligent. Don’t waste anymore of your valuable time on the regular dating sites that don’t give you what you really want.

ModelMeet.com

From Online to Offline: How to Transition Smoothly

I see a great, informative post over at Evil Woobie on a subject we don't see covered often, How To Transition From Online Dating to the First Date.

It gives some good advice, and you have to chuckle over the part where you're advised to "...review past chats and take note of the promises that you gave in the past". Heh, we talk a lot when we're flirting and don't remember everything, so we have to keep our story straight, huh? Never truer were the words "an honest person never has to remember anything".

My own little part to add: people should be looser about meeting up for dates. So many online daters agonize for months before finally going out to meet in person. What's everybody so shy about? Don't you strike up conversations with the person next to you on the subway, or talk to people at work? So if you don't expect that every person will be "The One", and just go to have fun and socialize, you'll overcome your shyness and who knows, maybe even click with somebody that you thought wouldn't work out.

My other idea: for those people who don't know how to describe themselves, two of these kind of people can agree to meet for an "evaluation date". The purpose is just to socialize, get to know each other for an hour, then you both agree to go home and write the other person's profile! there, now you have a description of yourself as somebody else sees you. This can be a benefit, because people frequently forget to list their best qualities.

Meh, it's an idea...

Jodie Brittain

Salesmen Need Not Apply in Online Dating

I was quite amused at this story about a speed-dating event in which one guy showed up and just handed out resumes. Clearly, this guy has trouble transitioning from the online world to the offline. "Well", he must have thought, "You use a profile to land a date online. You use a resume to land a job offline. Why not?"

The "Why not?" is because people don't like to be treated like that. They showed up in person to see you, not read a piece of paper you've handed them. And they probably don't want your business card, either. Furthermore, when you print up resumes for a dating event, what you're really saying is "I can't think outside the office." Which is a shame, because - singles take note - the really interesting things in a relationship happen in the bedroom.

Like I've advised in earlier blog posts, you should also leave behind the phone, laptop, and other gizmos on a date, even a speed-date. There's a difference between being being tech-savvy and tech-dependent. When you can't be pried away from your gadget, you're telling your date that they will never have your undivided attention. A woman can look like Carmen Electra, be dressed like Leelu in the Fifth Element and be doing Chinese-acrobat cartwheels on her way to engaging in some carnal act with you from the back pages of the Kama Sutra, and you'd be all "Yeah, uh-huh, very nice, hon. Oh my God! My stock went up half a point!"

Jodie Brittain